December 27^th, 2017

Acts 2:37

“Peter’s words pierced their hearts, and they said to him and to the other apostles, ‘Brothers, what should we do?’”

Finally, at this point when Jesus had come and gone their hearts finally began to soften. Until this point of Peter being filled with the spirit those around him had hardened hearts. Nothing entering in and nothing going out. But then suddenly the power of the holy spirit comes in and all their hearts are softened. It pierced straight through their hearts, it didn’t tear through one layer at a time but straight through not needing to take time to sink in or marvel at a later revelation.

Like the people that listened to Peter speak at Pentecost sometimes God speaks and makes himself known in that moment exactly what needs to be known and what he is trying to teach you so that you don’t waste any time. I unfortunately was not like the crowd this past week. My heart was not soft, and the words of God were not being let in. I wasn’t wanting to let God in because it was more work than shutting Him out was.  I have a lot of head knowledge in my life what is hard for me is getting it to go to my heart too. I have a hard time believing the promises of God and what He wants for my life. It is hard for me to believe how much He actually loves me. I make it hard for God’s truths to pierce my heart. Often, I find myself asking “what should I do”, just like the disciples but for a different reason.  For me it is more of a what should I do, tell me God what should I do to love you more, know you more, abide in you more. I know that sounds super works based but still I do ask myself God I just need one thing to cling to, I need new revelations of who you are. This race is hard and tiring please remind me why I am doing this. Remind me why it is all worth it.

Application:

Look for the promises of God found in Genesis.

December 20^th, 2017

Genesis 26:24 “… Do not be afraid, for I am with you and will bless you. I will multiply you descendants, and they will become a great nation. I will do this because of my promise to Abraham, my servant.”

While reading through Genesis verses like this one keep showing up. Abraham is constantly reminded of the promise that God has for his life regardless of the times he messes up. Over and over God is saying because of your faithfulness, or because of Abrahams faithfulness, I will bless you. And you will have descendants as numerous as the stars.

This shows two things, one, that God has promises for everyone and with those promises he plans to keep his word, reminding you about those promises every time you doubt or fear. The truth is, that we often forget who God is and what he is capable of. This sounds trivial, but the fact is we spend more time doubting God than believing what says over our lives. I don’t know why it is so harder for me to keep and believe the promises I think God is giving me.  The truth is, it is easier to doubt because you can control your doubt, you can tangibly hold the doubt in your heart, there is no need for trust, no way to get hurt.  It is hard letting God keep control over your future, whether that be school, moving, your future spouse, or even what church to go to. How do you do it? How do you give up every area of your life? How does one completely trust some one they’ve never physically met to make all the right choices for them in their life?  But the even bigger question I suppose is, how some one sends their only child out; to the drug addicts, the prideful, the workaholics, the abusers, the abused, the liars, the cheaters, the vain? How could you do that? That would be like sending your kid whom you love very much onto the streets in the middle of a pedophilic neighbourhood, where they can use him and abuse him. Where their only concern is themselves, their wellbeing with out any concern for the consequences. God how do you have this love for us? How is it that you even concern yourself with us?

Second it shows us that God is a God of grace. The verse that says, his mercies are new every day is true. God forgives and moves on. He does not condemn you for your past. God will still use your brokenness, and your mistakes, no clay is thrown away from the pot (Jerimiah 18:4). So even though Abraham and his descendants would screw up He still gave them what He had promised. This should be comforting because it proves that God isn’t finished the work he is beginning but it also shows that God means what he says. So, when he says that he will see it through you ought to also believe all other things he says, for example what he says about loving you.

God is good, that much I know. How he continues to love us daily, that I may never know.

Applications: Pray over yourself the song “You’re Not Finished Yet” –The Belonging CO Ft. Maggie

December 12th, 2017

Ephesians 5:21-22

“submitting to one another out of reverence of Christ. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.”

              This past week I listened to a sermon on “figuring out life: as a wife”. In the sermon he spoke from Ephesians 5:21-33.  It was crazy because I had listened to this message back in March from my home church but at the time I was still living a split life between God and the world and my heart was so hard that it really was just me sitting in the service not taking anything being said to heart. But after listening to it again I took in so much and it really ministered to me. It is especially relevant in this season right now, the practice of submitting and serving.

God has really been teaching me what it means to submit and serve with a pure heart since July in Guatemala. I remember when I got there, to Guatemala, I was so confused and upset because I really didn’t understand true submission and what that biblically should look like. Since I am from Vancouver, Canada it is quite liberal, women are told that they should have dreams and aspirations of becoming CEO’s, lawyers, women of power. It is an insult to think that a mom should stay home with their kid after having it, the man can get maternity leave instead, so the women can go back to work and provide for the family.  So naturally growing up with that all around me (my parents didn’t teach me this but schools, and society did.) I was in a bit of a shock. But as I learned what the role of a women is biblically I started to see how natural it felt and how freeing it was. I didn’t realize that submission isn’t inequality. You can still battle for your rights and you can still be equal, but submission is truly just putting others before yourself. It is important for me to remind myself that Jesus came to serve not be served, so by serving I am becoming more like Him. These concepts are ones that I am getting to act out with my team mates here, even when I am tired and drained from the day still I want to serve, still I want to press on and show them respect by putting them before myself. I pray that God would use this time to refine me and prepare me to be a woman of Him and prepare me for marriage one day so that I can serve my husband well.

Application: Do the breakfast dishes every morning this week. 

December 5th, 2017

Jerimiah 18: 4

“And the vessel he was making of clay was spoiled in the potter’s hand, and he reworked it into another vessel, as it seemed good to the potter to do.”  ESV

 “But the jar he was making did not turn out as he had hoped, so he crushed it into a lump of clay again and started over.” NLT

The reason I put both versions of this verse is because I find that they both have importance in the way of what is being said. First the verse is talking about the potter and his relationship with the clay, of course this always reminds me of the ministry I am currently apart of, Potter’s Field Ministries, and Pastor Mike’s presentation with the clay and the pot. During the presentation he pulls on the clay shaping it and perfecting it. At some points he pulls the pot so thin that you think it is going to collapse on itself, that it won’t be able to be shaped anymore. But that is when Pastor Mike crushes it, he then molds it into something else saying, “I was never making a pot”. 

This is what God does to us, He shapes us and molds us into one thing, but then He strips us of pieces that are not Him, that are evil and sinful. And when we think He just about done with us and is done with stretching us, He completely switches the design on us. He pulls and tugs us in a different direction next discarding some pieces but never fully throwing them away because He knows that testimonies are powerful and encouraging so He keeps our past in His hands, but it is no longer attached to us and no longer apart of us.

For many this is a season of rebuilding and shaping in our lives. I find that now more than ever I am truly starting to become the person God wants me to be. No longer being influenced by opinion I’ve grown up with and believing things just because my family did. But it has been a true and pure time of discovery and searching for who God really is and what the characteristics of Jesus are.

I can honestly say that I was not turning into the jar that He would have hoped for, so God used Ignite to crush me into a lump and start to remake me. He has taken me out of my home, out of my identity as a pastor’s kid and I can no longer hide behind my job or school. He wanted me to start fresh and then began with stripping all I was to become just me and Him. But even though sometimes it is painful it is also beautiful and worth it.

December 1st, 2017

Luke 6:30

“The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.”

People that have their hearts aligned with Jesus and the goodness that he possesses will intern have a reflection of that in their own lives. I didn’t know the true concept of this until coming to Cambodia. I had always heard that if you are snippy or quick to anger was because you were too plugged into the world and not plugged in with God, which I guess in essence is a similar thing. When your relationship with God isn’t right then your relationship with others won’t be either.  The tongue is what will show when you aren’t right with God because even here it says that the mouth speaks from the heart. I know that for me this is true. The way that I speak is a direct line from my relationship with God. When I first got to Cambodia I was drawing back from everyone including God. I would still do my morning devotionals and sort of pursue Him there, but I wasn’t really looking at him in all I did. So naturally my relationship with people was not how it normally is, I was short with people, made sarcastic comments which were really not nice or funny, and I always was on edge with them. I didn’t want to be attacked by anyone, so I would try to attack first in order to not be hurt by the other person. All in all, I was a mess, anyone could see that my heart was not in the right place. Luckily though I have leaders that want the best for me and want me to succeed so the helped me to realize what was actually going on, hence the saying “what you say is a reflection of your heart.” I was hardening my heart so much to others that I didn’t even realize what I was doing. I thank God that this all happened at the beginning of our time here though so that I could get right with God and with my team mates.

Application:

Spend an extra hour talking to God today that you normally wouldn’t have spent.

November 20^th, 2017

John 15: 16a

“You didn’t choose me. I chose you”

Since the beginning of Ignite I have wondered how is it that this is my life? How is it that I was chosen by God to have this life I do? Since being here in Cambodia I have certainly been counting my blessings with thanksgiving this week and all naturally you start to thing more about the things that God has blessed you with. For me, I thought a lot about my family and childhood. You see I was born into a Pastor’s family and I loved it. The church is my extended family and I know that I have a lot of people that truly care about me there. But I didn’t get a choice about whose family I was born into. Only God has the power to decide that. So how is it that I ended up on this adventure and after such an amazing childhood only the grace of God I once heard a quote in a sermon about poverty that went something on the lines of this “Poverty is merely based off latitude and longitude not the lack of ambition some one might have or laziness.” It’s all because of grace. It’s undeserved and incomprehensible. All I know is that God has given me the chance to pursue Him in countries other than my native one, and teach children about Jesus and what he did for them.

Growing up I always belittled my testimony saying that there isn’t much to it, it wasn’t interesting. It wasn’t radical enough.  But I have come to the realization that there is so much more to my testimony than what I have or haven’t done in terms of sins. Obviously, I am not perfect, but God has kept me safe from so much and that is a miracle in itself. But again, it is all by His grace none of it has anything to do with me. So, my question is why did you choose me God? I am not any better than the person next to me, so why me? I didn’t choose you. It’s an interesting statement because so often we think that we choose God but really it is Him who chooses us. This verse is so simple yet so complex, I wish that I could understand it the way that God does. That I could completely understand how much He loves me.

Application: Pray for a glimpse of God’s amazing love for us.

November 13^th, 2017

John 15:1-8

“’I am the true grapevine, and my Father is the gardener.  He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn’t produce fruit, and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit, so they will produce even more.  You have already been pruned and purified by the message I have given you. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me. Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing. Anyone who does not remain in me is thrown away like a useless branch and withers. Such branches are gathered into a pile to be burned. But if you remain in me and my words remain in you, you may ask for anything you want, and it will be granted! When you produce much fruit, you are my true disciples. This brings great glory to my Father.’”

During training I was talking to Shannon and she gave me this passage that a bunch of the RA’s were studying together, specifically they were reading John 15 in it’s entirety. This passage is all about abiding in Christ and what it means to remain in His love, and the importance consistently being in the presence of God not just to just have a feeling of closeness to God when worshiping or on missions. Although those are good times to feel a closeness to God it should not be the only time that you feel a closeness to him.

              The passage starts out by talking about how God is the pruner that will rid you of everything that isn’t producing fruit. When I read that I immediately thought to all the things that God has asked me to give up and all the things he is currently asking me to give to him. A lot of time when I read things like that and start thinking I become afraid. Having to give up things that you’ve done so long or have held onto for such a long time is challenging, it’s hard to cut things off and out of your life. Because once they are cut off you can’t put them back, they will die. The challenge I suppose it to not be afraid of the pruning process but to embrace it and accept because it is God preparing you to bear more fruit, to be more like him. For he says when you produce much fruit that is when you are his disciples. God identifies with you when you are producing fruit and becoming like him.

 November 8^th, 2017

 Luke 6:38

“give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.”

“Exhausted yet pursuing” in Judges 8 Gideon was leading an army of 300 men across the Jordan. They were an undefeated group of men and although they were exhausted they continued to press on because it was what the Lord was asking of them.  They knew that God had something instore for them if they obeyed His commands and tried to follow on the path He had set out for them. Yet pursuing, when you put in your all and push yourself that much farther for him God will honour your sacrifices and the yes’ you said when you wanted to say no.  Give all that you are and have for Christ and he will give you back the best gift you could imagine; eternal life in heaven. Even though I may feel pressed down on, suffocated even, I know that there are better things to come. Take today for example, I really was exhausted for no reason, but I still had responsibilities to do and I still needed to show up, so I did, and I didn’t feel any different. I didn’t suddenly out of no where gain an insane super natural amount of energy. But even with out some amazing miracle I ended up continuing in my day and it was hard to press on and it was hard to remember that I am waiting on something that is so much more than this world and momentary gratification.  It’s not about what you want to do or about your feelings but about what God wants for you. I pray that I will be able to hear God’s voice learning to discern what He is saying so that I can better follow where He wants to lead me.

Application: Look for examples in the bible of people who new God’s voice and what exactly they did.

November 5th, 2017

Habakkuk 1:5

“‘Look among the nations, and see; wonder and be astounded. For I am doing a work in your days that you would not believe if told.’”

Look among the nations. Not just look but see, and with that vision that I provide for you wonder. Wonder about me, wonder about creation, wonder about my love for you. Once you hit a point during your wonder you will be astounded.  There you will find that you can’t even begin to express or begin to comprehend the smallest bit of knowledge that you thought you had of God. It seems as if the closer you think you are getting to know more about God the father away you actually are.  For I am doing a work, I am. For God is doing a work in my days, not just my current day but my tomorrow and yesterday as well.  He is going to do something so amazing during my time here but also for the rest of my life. Something He won’t even reveal to us right now because if He did we would not believe Him, that is something that is so exciting about Christ. We never know what is going to happen next but regardless of what does happen we know that we are still guaranteed to go to the kingdom. And even if the work God is talking about, are the days while we are in heaven He still promises us that He will do them and that we won’t believe what that will look like even if He told us.

Application: Journal; ask God for a promise for my life.

October 17^th, 2017

Exodus 33:18

Moses said, ‘please show me your glory.’ (ESV)

I am sitting here in the house in Cambodia praying this with my whole heart. God show me your glory this year. I want to see you in a way that I never have before. I am overcome with this confidence that He will do this. Even if it is just a glimpse of Him I would be satisfied. But I pray that, that glimpse would last in my mind and heart forever. That it wouldn’t fade, that I would have something to cling to. I know that with his glory comes a peace and an awe. I can’t help but feel that it is going to happen soon, not yet, but little by little over these next months he is going to reveal little by little until I will be left with a whole picture of who I think He is. But it won’t stay that way because then He will reveal another piece of himself to me. The truth of it is, is that we will never be able to comprehend God in all His eternity, our human brains are too small and we have too many boxes we put Him into. The most accurate example of God we have is from Jesus but even he is a mystery almost like a puzzle. I can’t even imagine what it would have been like to try and understand God in the time that Moses lived. You would have had a very different kind of faith, for the average person it would have been very hard to view God as a God that wants a relationship. It would have been hard for me to have truly felt like He was there or that He cared.  It is amazing though how so much has changed in the world since then but people are still begging for the same thing. They still want to see God and see his glory. It is not just an experience of God but it is also wanting that knowledge of Him and begging to see Him. Our world is broken and breaking more and more everyday, and it feels like it is harder and harder to see God on some days so I beg that He would show me a glimpse of Him some way or some how. The beauty of it is, He does meet me, He does draw me in and reveal more of Himself.

Application: God show me more of who you are, reveal to me the characteristics of you, and teach me to be more like you. Grow my desire to read your word and teach me how to love you more.

October 24^th, 2017

Psalm 93:4

“Mightier than the thunders of many waters, mightier than the waves of the sea, the Lord on high is mighty.”

When I first read this verse I thought, that’s all great and dandy but I don’t really know what to right about this. So, then I thought what exactly is the word mightier, so I looked up synonyms and saw that they were words like; vast, huge, expansive, enormous. This stumped me. I was confused because I had always thought that mighty meant strong but really it mean bigger than big. So, the verse is saying, vaster than the thunders of many waters but I thought it was saying stronger and more powerful than the thunders. And Yes, it is true that God is strong and powerful but the verse is saying that He is bigger than the sky which expands over all the earth. He is bigger than the biggest wave in the ocean. His love for us can fill an infinite number of oceans. Our Lord is mighty. We should not down play that or limit Him with our small minds. He is vast, He is bigger than anything we can even imagine. We can’t imagine something that hasn’t been created by God and put on display for us to see. That is why this word is so hard to comprehend, because we physically can’t describe it. It honestly gives me a headache trying to think about it and trying to understand.

Application: Look this week for examples of how God is bigger than the boxes I put him in.

September 28^th, 2017

2 Timothy 2:2

“You have heard me teach things that have been confirmed by many reliable witnesses. Now teach these truths to other trustworthy people who will be able to pass them on to others.”

Things that have been confirmed by many reliable sources, this section of the verse should give us comfort in the fact that what was being aid is true and theologically correct. I know that often people just believe what ever they are told if it comes from even just one person they deem as a trustworthy source for the teaching.  But even though Paul was a trust worthy teacher he still mentions that it agreed with other’s testimonies as well not just his own. It gives him more credit and I believe that is very important.

When I read this I originally thought of myself disciplining others, reminding me of the girls that I mentor back home. I thought to myself, how credible am I? Am I able to also cite the information I am telling the girls? The answer is no, I do not do that. I want to challenge them about what it is they should be believing, what they should do to find out what is false teaching and what is truth. I hope that with this realization now I can start looking into where verses are found so that I may start to be a more credible leader for them so that they will know when what I am saying is doctrine and what is just my opinion. Also, so that when they are witnessing to others about God and need to know where something from scripture is found that we were talking about they will be more knowledgeable about the bible.

Application: Memorize a verse that you deem as a keystone in your walk with the Lord

September 25^th, 2017

Mark 4:10-11

“Later, when Jesus was alone with the twelve disciples and with the others who were gathered around, they asked him what the parable meant. He replied, ‘You are permitted to understand the secret (mystery) of the Kingdom of God. But I use parables for everything I say to outsiders,’”

The disciples already knew the secret of eternal life so they were already knowing what they needed to do in order to be saved and continue in on that path of righteousness. But those who did not know that secret to eternal life was, were tested through the use of parables because those who couldn’t understand but continued to listen to try to gain knowledge would be blessed and they knew that. They knew that Jesus had something special about him and when that happens, when you know some one has wisdom and something different about them you tend to hang around them and follow. How many times have I just been following around with the crowd because I liked the people be not actually cared what they were saying? I went through a stage in life I was about grade 8 &9 when I was just with the people I was with because of my status. I didn’t want to be by myself but I also really didn’t like the things that were talked about in my group of friends. But even still I would hang out with the crowd because that is what you would do. I was the same as those in the parables, when I didn’t understand I would want to leave and not continue to listen I would see it as a waste of time.

September 22^nd, 2017

1 Peter 4:7

“The end of the world is coming soon. Therefore, be earnest and disciplined in your prayers.”

I often find myself living for tomorrow. Thinking as if I have plenty other days. When really we should treat each day as if it is our last. A reminder of this for me is when one of my friends past away suddenly from a heart attack. She was only nineteen but she had heart issues for a long time. But no one thought she would die. I didn’t leave Langley thinking that she wouldn’t be there when I got back. It is a hard concept for me to grasp that she is gone, I have been living the future so much that it didn’t even cross my mind that some one I know might be gone by the time I get back. We need to be intentional in our relationships. And that also goes for our relationship with God. We should talk to Him as if it is our last time talking to Him. There should be an urgency behind every conversation with God there should be a pressing issue of the fact that that might be the last time you talk to God on earth. We should be open to Him about how we are feeling because there is no time to beat around the bush and avoid confrontation. Be straight up and don’t waste time on petty things.

Application:

Pray and tell God exactly what is on your mind, don’t just dance around the subject. 

September 21st, 2017

2 Samuel 11: 11-15

“Uriah replied ‘the ark and the armies of Israel and Judah are living in tents, and Joab and my master’s men are camping in the open fields. How could I go home to wine and dine and sleep with my wife? I swear that I would never do such a thing.’ ‘Well stay here today,’ David told him, ‘and tomorrow you may return to the army.’ So Uriah stayed in Jerusalem that day and the next. Then David invited him to dinner and got him drunk. But even then, he couldn’t get Uriah to go home to his wife. Again, he slept at the palace entrance with the king’s palace guard.  So the next morning David wrote a letter to Joab and gave it to Uriah to deliver. The letter instructed Joab, station Uriah on the front lines where the battle is fiercest. Then pull back so that he will be killed.”

In this text, there are two persistent people, Uriah and David. It takes Uriah a lot of discipline to be able to not go home and relax. He knows that he is in an army. He knows that if he goes home he might not want to go back. So he guards his mind and knows how he needs to press on in order to continue to fight the race that he has started. He doesn’t forget that he is in the midst of a war. That all his brothers and friends are fighting and losing their lives trying to protect their kingdom. I often do not have the same mindset as Uriah. I forget that we are in a battle between heaven and hell. I get lazy and just go with the flow, I listen to the suggestions of David and follow them. I forget that I am not serving David I am serving God. I need to be strong especially with our ten days coming up I need to remember I am still in battle and I can’t forget and go an get drunk on the pleasures of a vacation. It will be hard to not get caught up on the materialistic things but to truly focus on God and even evangelizing to those around me in Florida, because it isn’t my home and it can still be a battle ground.

Application: Make a commitment to do devos an hour every morning in Florida.

September 20^th, 2017

Mark 1:35

“Before daybreak the next morning, Jesus got up and went out to an isolated place to pray.”

How easy is it for me to step back and spend time with God? If I am being honest, it is extremely difficult. I have a very hard time walking away from people and fun because I don’t want to miss out on what is going on around me. But the reality is that often we do need to step back and just abide in Him. To bring him everything, our worries, joys, just our thoughts in general. It is not like he is asking us to be completely isolated all the time from the rest of the world but he also encourages community. But he is encouraging us that before the sun rises we need to spend some time with our father alone. He is showing us the importance of prayer and how that should affect us in our relationship with God. The very first thing we do, before we get coffee before we eat breakfast we should spend some time with God. He will honour that, he sees when we seek him out of pure motives and he will honour that making us a fresh. It is amazing that this place allows us to get up early and spend time with God before we do anything else in our lives. Since being here my love for mornings has increased by a tenfold. I love them, I always hope to see a pretty sunrise, because most of the time I am up before it rises. I really feel that I am starting my day off well when I get that time of prayer right off the bat with out distractions because no one else is up.

Application: Get up at 5 tomorrow morning in order to spend that extra half an hour praying to God first and foremost before doing anything else.

September 19th, 2017

1 Corinthians 9: 24-27

"Don't you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize?  So, run to win. All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize.  So, I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified."

I already feel the difference between Sydney now and the Sydney three months ago. This Sydney is prepared for anything. I am willing to pray for random people at odd times of the day now, I always am asking God to keep my eyes alert to give me eyes to see those who are hurting near me so I am constantly on high alert trying to find some one. My mind is faster and stronger, I am equipping myself to be ready for the field. I can now run easier on lack of sleep. I can wake up before 6:30 easily where as I used to have hard time getting up at 7:30. I can feel myself being refined and transformed. God is equipping me and building up my endurance and strength much like an athlete in real life. I played sports all through high school and I love them, so I know what it is like to be in training season. This is the time where you do sprints after practice that make you want to throw up, when your coaches barely let you get water breaks and when cramps in your stomach are inevitable. Similarly, training is like that, they are equipping you, teaching you the plays, strengthening your mind with teachings, and physically making you serve with a servant’s heart. But we do all this with the mind that we are winning an eternal prize. We know we won't be disqualified if we are doing everything in accordance to the will of God.

September 18th, 2017
1 Timothy 4:8
" 'Physical training is good, but training for godliness is much better, promising benefits in this life and the life to come.' "

This morning I woke up late. Well I woke up when I had originally planned to at five  and was about to get up and start my day but I decided to pray instead before getting out of bed. So I started to, and I guess I fell asleep. But when I woke again next at six I was in a state of annoyance for myself. I was angry at my flesh and annoyed that I had no self control. Why was I so weak. So I hurriedly got ready to start my day and out I went. But as I was getting coffee I started to talk to Shannon. Shannon is always full of good advice for me so it is no suprise she was again today. She told me that this kind ofthing happens some times to her and God had shown her a verse in Psalm 127:1. It basically says that unless God is the one building your house, your work is wasted in his eyes. From that she was shown that her time with God isn't any worse or any better if it is shorter or longer. It is quality over quantity. I feel like sometimes when I sleep in like that though, that I am letting God down because I am giving into my flesh. But as Shannon was saying it is not always true, because if you still are craving God's word and trying to study it earnestly God sees that, it isn't about how long you study it for. So in that way the Physical training of getting up early is good, but those short intense moments with God are so much better, promising blessing for this life and the next.

Application:
Tomorrow sleep in until six again to challenge myself to have more of an intense time with God.

September 15th, 2017
Phillipians 3:13
"No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing. Forgetting the past and looking forward at what lies ahead."

That is something that I am desperately trying to work on. Looking ahead and not looking back. So many times especially in the past I had looked back because I wanted to not make the same mistake twice or I was still kicking myself for what happened. It was hard for me to let go. It was not something that was easy for me, I could forgive everyone around me but I wouldn't forgive myself.  It says forgetting the past, by this I believe that he meant forgetting the shame and condemnation that you were in but not forgetting what God has done for you. Testimonies are powerful and whenever God lifts you out of something he wants you to share that with other people. What would be the point if we forgot all that God did for us? We would go on with our daily lives not being thankful for anything and we would continue to stumble over the same things, like clockwork. He is talking about instead of focusing on the perfection that comes with Christ and that process, focus on the forgiveness He has given you and how he is making you new.

Application: Thank God for all that he has brought me through and the new life I have in him today.

September 14th, 2017
Philippians 3:11-12
"So that one way or another I will experience the resurection from the dead! I don't mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I already have reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me."

This verse is interesting because I view perfection in a negative connotation. I tried so hard for so long to live in perfection and it didn't work. I was never able to perfect all the the goals I set out for myself. So for this verse to say "I press on to possess that perfection" I can't read anymore of it. I get stuck on the word perfection. Immediately my mind goes to a formula, what can I do to get to the top, what can I do to be the best? Since coming here I have been trying to remember that I don't need to be perfect for God, infact he adores the broken, those are the ones who need his help the most. It is God who makes me complete which that in itself is perfect.  The verse also touches on not being able to or already having reached perfection, which is something that I know in my head is true but it is very hard for me to believe that with my heart. Even now when I am walking firmly with Christ and in His promises I still think, "that wasn't good enough, you are unworthy, when will I even ever be close to something that is of value?" and the list goes on. It is true what they say about us being our own worst critics.

The verse also talks about experiencing the resurrection, I have experienced a form of this resurrection. In fact all Christians that are following Christ have. We are constantly walking in his forgiveness and with that we reccognize the importance of putting to death our flesh and our sin so that he may fill us and ressurect us.

September 13th, 2017
Philippians 3:10
"I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised Him from the dead. I want to suffer with Him sharing His death,"

I want to know Christ. I say this with conviction and an urgent pleading so that it may come true. I want to know Christ. I want to dwell in His presence, I want to be intune with Him. When He moves I want to move, when He speaks I speak. I want to be so intune that I don't even have to pray for confirmation. I am constantly experiencing God and His mighty power, He is constantly on the move and working. When ever some one comes to Christ that in itself is a miracle. There are so many influnces in our world, so I am not surprised when people start to go down a bad path. When I meet people I usually assume that they aren't saved. When you really think about that it is really sad. We assume that God isn't present so often. There is so much darkness and oppression going on in our world right now it is hard sometimes to see the light of Jesus. This is why I crave to know Him, so that when I feel overcome by the darkness and overwhelmed by all that is going on around me I will look to him.

It says I want to suffer with Him sharing His death, but is that really what I wish for. Am I willing to suffer with Christ for what he has done for me? What does this suffering even look like? When I first read this I thought of physical suffering but as I reread it a couple of times I started to realize that maybe it isn't suffering in the way I first percieved it. Maybe it is talking about suffering in this world. We are more than likely deem suffering as something that is different than God does. Since we place so much weight on materialistic things He gives us we might consider it suffering when we loose a job based on our faith or He may call us to sell everything and become missionsaries which the world would deem for us as loosing everything. There is an important part to that sentence though that make I left out at first, it says so that we may share his death. This isn't talking about a physical death but the death that comes with allowing Jesus to consume you. He wants to fill you and use you but inorder to do that you need to die, metaphorically, with all of your desires. By putting yourself to death, your flesh, you then can become more like Christ. What comes with that sacrifice is consuming joy and peace and that promise of deliverance from eternal suffering and death.

September 12th, 2017
Philippians 3:9
"and become one with him. I no longer count on my own righteousness through obeying the law; rather, I become righteous through faith in Christ. For God's way of making us right with himself depends on faith."

The KJV says be found in Him. This gives me an image of some one searching for you or for God but when they find one they should find the other. There should be no distinction between the two. God should dwell in us and us in Him. Recently I found out that one of my friends from work back home passed away. The hardest part is, that I don't know if she was saved. Prior to me leaving she was not walking with Christ, I think that she had at least heard the name of Jesus. The thing is, I used to talk about my faith at work, or I would talk about my morals but I honestly can't remember if I ever talked to her about it. I sincerely hope that in that time she could see me dwelling in God and God in me. I hope that she saw the faith that I had, that I would do something crazy like pay to go across the world in order to serve others. I pray that she didn't see the righteousness I probably had, as just obeying the rules. God I hope that she saw me for you. When some one dies it really gives you a new perspective. It makes you realize that we don't have all the time in the world, that it all could slip away in one second.

I had planned once I got back to minister to her. I had planned to go to coffee with her and share what God had done in my life over this last year especially. She needed more and I could tell, but I didn't jump. I didn't make it a priority to share as openly as I would have liked to. So now with the unknowning I can only pray that she saw Christ through me and God urged her to seek that out.

September 11th, 2017
Philippians 3:8
"Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage , so that I could gain Christ."

Worthless, for a long time I would fluctuate between feeling like I was worth alot or feeling as if I was worth nothing. The thing is though, I am worth nothing, in comparision to the value of knowing Christ. But yet even still He calls us his treasures, yet even still he persues us fervently. He is chasing us yet how often do we discard him? How often do we count what he has to say as garbage? We think we know best. We think that what we are doing is the only way and the right way. Obviously that is not correct. More and more I am being challenged to try and find God's voice, I want to be directed and follow him. I want to discard everything that I have and count it all as worthless but it is hard. It is hard to give up everything the world is telling you to grasp so tightly. The things that you grasp so tightly all your life, just poof, gone. God wants to take control, he wants to lead you in all areas of your life, but because he is a gentleman he won't barge in, he will wait until both your hands are free before grabing hold of them. He is not going to compete with things that are going on around us for our attention. He would win in an instant, but instead he wants us to seek him out.  He craves for us to try and find him. To get to know him.

Application:
Today I will write five things in my life that I need to give up inorder to be closer with Christ during on the mount time.

August 31st, 2017
John 15:15
"I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn't confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father has told me."

Did Jesus see us as his slaves just like God? I never thought about it in that way, Jesus being our master. I feel like Jesus is always painted as some one who your friend, He is the loving one that goes out of his way to be with you. He is the one that covers your shame, a mater wouldn't do that. But I realize, He is after all God. It is hard to remember some times that they are the same person, at least it is for me. I can't seem to wrap my brain around that fact, He is the son of God yet he also is God but He is still human. Our tiny and pathetic minds can't seem to wrap our brains around it so we just give up. Which I admit I do alot when it comes to Christianity and trying to understand God. There is some much that I don't understand. To some extent it is okay, I just reside in the fact that there is a God and he does love me very much and I have peace about it. But there are times where I can't help but think, "this seems so far fetched, what if I am just making all of this up?"  But that doubt fades when I truly think about God and the miracles He has preformed in my life, the feeling that I get when I worship, and the comfort I get when I pray. He is my daily strength. Even so, I hate the fact that I am a slave to something. When I think of a slave it often comes with an evil connotation, like the fact that I have been a slave to so many sins in my life. But the reality is we are slaves, whether we like it or not. We have no say in our lives or our futures but  unlike worldy masters ours has good intentions, He is trying to provide for us, it is not for His own selfish gain but a just gain for the kingdom of heaven.

They always told us in Sunday school that Jesus is our friend, so I guess it was ingrained in me. I mean I saw Him as a king but never my master or ruler in that way. When I first read this I almost felt discouraged because in my flesh I don't want another master watching my work intently. But I missed the point. It is not about how many people are scrutinising my work but how many people are looking out for and over me.

Application:
Ask God to reveal to me in ways in which Jesus is a master over my life and always has been.

August 30th, 2017
Matthew 20:26-28
"But amoung you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader amoung you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be th first among you must become your slave. For even the son of man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many."

The world tell us to climb the ladder of success but the bible says we must be last and the least. I always wondered why people fell away from Christ. Sure it may be because they did feel welcomed at their church or  they had a falling out with some one, but I have began to realize there are so many things trying to pull you away than the obvious sins that the church may talk about. I grew up going to a fair conservative school, it wasn't a Christian school but it wasn't as worldly as most public schools. In my school I as a woman was constantly told that I needed to go on to university to get a degree inorder to support my family one day. I should not even consider becoming a housewife because there was more to my life than that, and it would trap me in a marriage because I would have no where to go. While I don't disagree that education is important and holds value to my life it doesn't mean that I have to be the bread winner in my family. I believe that the man should be the main provider for the family but if I even thought about saying that in school I would get a stern talking to about how I need to get my priorities straight. The school system in Canada is constantly trying to boost up women so that they may be strong corporate leaders and not just meet men at the level of competition in job finding etc. but to surpass them in all areas.

So naturally coming here was really hard for me at first when they were telling us to let the guys do all the heavy lifting, letting us eat first, and basically just going first for everything. On the inside I was about to explode not because of anger but because I want to serve in that way too. All my life I had been some one who had to be strong, so it was hard for me. I was used to going last and trying to serve others in that way. I mean it wasn't a shock because I knew that it is the way God designed it to be but it was still hard because I haven't been practicing that in my daily life at all.

These verses really remind me of Aaron within the story of Moses. He was always leading by following Moses lead. Everything he did was because Moses had instructed him which was a word given to him by God. He physically lifted up Moses arms inoder to for the Irealites to win their battle against the Amalekites. I realize that I should want to be a leader like Aaron is. Most people just gaze over him when reading this like I did the first time. But, he is the perfect example of what a servant leader looks like. He is constantly submitting to Moses and the authority that he has, he doesn't question him he just trusts him and follows. Even though he holds a high rank he is humble and and continues to humble himself in order to better serve in the way that God has called him. I find that we often want to be the Moses' in this situation, but for women in regards to their relationship to men are called to be the Aaron's. It is only us that can hold up the arms of Moses on Earth with the help of God of course.

Application:
Serve one of my team mates/ the ones that are staying in my room today.

August 29th, 2017
Luke 17:7-10
" 'When a servant comes in from plowing or taking care of sheep, does his master say, 'come in and eat with me?' No, he says, 'Prepare my meal, put on your apron, and serve me while I eat. Then you can eat later.' And does the master thank the servant for doing what he was told to do? Of course not. In the same way, when you obey me you should say, 'We are unworthy servants who have simply done our duty.' "

This theme of God not needing us is constant. It's true, He doesn't, but we often try to trick ourselves into thinking that he does. We put too many limitations on Him and expect him to thank us for the work we do. But it shouldn't be so. He was the one who gave us life and gave us oppertunity, we are technically his slaves, and his children. My parents used to always make us do chores around the house and when we'd complain or ask why they would say "Why do you think we had children in the first place?" Now they were always joking but in a sense they were looking at it the God does. He created us so that we could worship him and since we are born after "the fall" we were also put on the earth to serve him by raising up disciples and baptize. We could be here on Earth to just do His dirty work, but it's not true because easily could do it ten times fast and batter. He just wants to employ us in a sense, he doesn't want us to become homeless with no way out. He wants us to have a secure home. He wants to provide for us. I think of the story of Ruth  when I read this. Moab did not in any means have to provide for her or her mother-in-law. But he did, and willingly. He wanted to make sure that his family was safe and that they would be looked after, so he provided her with a job because she was faithful to his family and to the Lord. God rewards those who are faithful to Him. He is asking us right now to serve him and eat later, because the food that we would recieve now will melt incomparision of what is to come.

Application:
Ask God in what way am I sneaking a bite of food? What area in my life do I need to lay down inorder to better follow him.

August 28th, 2017
John 12:26
"Anyone who wants to be my disciple must follow me, because my servants must be where I am. And the Father will honor anyone who serves me."

Jesus wants us to physically follow him, he wants us to pick up our crosses and follow him daily. He doesn't just want a verbal promise. I find that for me there is often a delay when I realize I have to physically go out and do things for God, unless of course it is something that I want to do.

I find that we often skim over the word servant when we read the bible. I think that this is because we like to trick ourselves into thinking that we are some how better than a lowly servant The matter of the fact is that we are actually lesser than a servant on a good day. To be a servant means that you must give up all of your rights inorder to serve your master. You can no longer put yourself first or think about yourself first. You have to be humbled. Since coming here humility and humblness are two very common themes. I often think about how prideful I was before coming here and I didn't even realize it. Since being here I have tried more and more to lay that pride down, even though it is consistantly such a struggle. Why is serving eachother so hard? Is it because we don't want to submit to each other? Or maybe because the concept of "less of us" is too hard to comprehend? Whatever the reason may be there is no question that serving others can be extremely difficult. Even this morning while I was sitting and writing this I witnessed some one waiting to do their responsiblity because the other person wasn't there to help them. It was by no means a difficult task but he wanted everything to be even between the two of them. This stood out to me because I am often some who would like to make things even between two people, if it's not then I go back to pride and think "oh look at me I am such a good person doing all of this."
But God calls us to follow and serve Him, so in that there is the extention of others. If we do however serve others then we serve the Lord and he honors us for that sacrifice.

Application: Today I will serve my team by asking them what I can do to pray for them.

August 25th, 2017
1 Corinthians 12:14-15
 "Yes, the body has many different parts, not just one part. If the foot says, 'I am not a part of the body because I am not a hand,' that does not make it any less a part of the body."

Last night I was praying with my field assignment team, Cambodia,  and I prayed about this not knowing it was the IBS verse for today. I believe that God really wants to ingrain this into my brain before we get to our field time. Since I have struggled with perfection and wanting to be the best in all areas of my life this is an important verse for me to remember. Sometimes I forget that everyone is made inadequate in some way. The reason for that, besides the typical answer of the fall, is because God wants us to depend on each other while we walk through our lives serving Him. He wants community and He wants there to be a team work mentality to it. Just like man and women are made to complete eachother, so is the church. I know in which areas I am lacking, take skits for example, I am not the best actor. Knowing this I openly tell my team that I stink so we arrange that I have a smaller part and allow one of the other girls to step in as the lead, they are all amazing at it by the way. But even with something that simple I can already see how my team adapts when needed and they recognize they need to support eachother inorder to come together and get the work that we need to done.

It blows my mind that God would do that, he made us all different. He didn't want rebotic soldiers that are all exactly the same. He forsaw the beauty that comes with the team work we are created to have, and when everything falls in place it is beautiful. So incredibly beautiful, like this sunrise that is popping up over the clouds and trees that surround me here.

Application: Analyze my team and see where they can step in and lift my arms in the weak areas of my life. Write down one area for each of them.

August 23rd, 2017
Galatians 5:13
"For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don't use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love."

What does living in freedom look like? It says that we are called to live in freedom but it does not say that we necessarily walk in that freedom. So what does that freedom look like? Is it an image of Jesus dying on the cross? How about some one singing with their arms raised and a smile on their face? What about some one on a street corner shouting "You have been saved!" bible dramatically being whipped around in their hands. Regardless of what your freedom looks like we are all called to it. But not the freedom to do anything under the sun that we please, we are now called higher than the life of bondage that often seems so pleasing. I feel that often times people get to that point of realizing that we are free but do a complete one-eighty and start living their live in accordance to things that are of this world. Even though walking in freedom sounds so easy, it is so hard. But why is that? Why is it that we see our sins and temptations, the shackles that are hanging on the wall open and reminding us of the death we will recieve with them, and call out about how we miss them? How is it that they seem so enticing? They are literally as clear as day what they are and what your outcome will be from them.

For me there was a sin in my life for a good couple years that I was in bondage to. I would be freed and I knew that I was freed from it but I kept going back. I would go and clamp closed that shackles after having them opened and off my wrist for a while. I kept going back to them. It wouldn't take long though for the me remember the smell of death and decay though and once I did I would cry out to God and He would send Jesus with a key to unlock me once again. Then I would be on my way forgetting about that freedom two weeks, a month, maybe two and be back in that prison cell in an instant. It isn't that way anymore though, I am freed and I plan not to go back into that hole ever again unless I am helping some one out of it. The next part of the verse talks about misusing your freedom, this reigns true to me now because when ever I share to some one my testimony it is important that I am giving the full glory to God and not making it something it isn't. I don't want to fall to pride when I share, it is important to remember it is all God, it wasn't me. I don't want to use what God has given me to satisfy my nature of pride. I want to use what he has given me to help others out of the holes they are in, and serve them in the way that no one ever did for me so that way they may be freed as well.

Application:
Share with my team my past and allow for the glory of God to be the main and only focus so that I do not become prideful.

August 22nd, 2017
1 Corinthians 9:22
"When I am with those who are weak, I share their weakness, for I want to bring the weak to Christ. Yes, I try to find common ground with everyone, doing everything I can to save some."

Right from the first time I read this I kicked back, weakness, no thank you.  I mean I know that we have to submit and we are weak in Christ, but being weak for other people? I thought to myself, I am not sure I signed up for that. I thought through all things Christ will give me strength, aren't we done with all this humanly weakness? God is constantly calling us to be this tiny creatures that are weak so that we will fully depend on him and his plan.

"I try to find common ground", they are saying that because their view points are so different it is hard to relate to them in a worldly sense so they picked something that everyone can relate to, weakness. That is hard for me to admit, that I am weak. I always hated being the weak one, it never bothered me if others around me were the weak ones but as soon as I started to feel weak it would terrify me on the inside. I hated giving people a foot hold, as I saw it, in my life.
When I was little my Dad used to tickle me all the time, and I mean all the time. He would pop around the corner scaring me before throwing me over his shoulder and bringing me to a couch and would start feverishly tickling me. I would try everything, screaming, hitting him, breaking free, calling my siblings for reforcements, and pulling the "I have to go pee" card. Most times it still not working. Needless to say it made me realize how much I hate weakness and the feelings that accompanied it. I think that this is an accurate representation of weakness in my life. In these times I would not be able to control anything. But even still God doesn't call us to be weak on our own, not only does he offer himself but he also offers up those around us to support us too.

Application: Talk to one of my roomates about my testimony and the struggles that I am going through.

August 21st, 2017
Ephesians 5:21
"And futher, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."
"submitting to one another in the fear of God"

I know that I have often in the past viewed submitting to others as being weak. I know that it is not the case but I can't help but think in my flesh, "I am stronger than this." I never had an issue with authority though, submitting to them wasn't my problem. It is / was submitting to my peers. I have been in leadership my whole life, whether that is in the church, sports teams or school, I am used to being the example and the one that called the shots. I would have to pick up their slack when they were lazy, or just taking the lead because they just weren't wanting to lead or they didn't have the knowledge inorder to do so.

But I have already noticed a difference here. People here are naturally called and gifted towards leading and are generally not lazy, the reason behind that is because we view everything we do as serving unto the Lord. I think that this verse is very important for me to remember because we should submit to each other inorder to follow out God's will. The healthy fear that is of God should be present everytime leadership is gathered and making descisions. For we should fear that we will miss what God wants for us because of our pride and inability to submit to others ideas.

Application:
Today I will pray for the ability to submit within myself and my team.

August 18th, 2017
Hebrews 13:17
"Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account . Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you."

God has placed athority in all of our lives, whether it be Austin, Pastor Mike, our parents. There is some one that we can look to for godly counsel. With that authority and ability to speak into our lives we need to respect them with the respect we would have had for Jesus. He has hand picked them to be representitives of his word and to guide you along so that you can go out among the nations teaching and baptizing them. They are to make sure that you stay on the path of righteousness so why make their lives harder by disobeying them and not submitting to them? All you do is test their joy and try to set them on edge.  So let them, instead of fighting their athority go with it and there will be joy because it will be in God's will, his perfect plan.

I will not lie for me at first it was had to submit so fully, which was strange because I have never had this problem before. It is just that I had to look bibically at this. It wasn't even the authority in this it is the roles of women and men in God's eyes. I was so used to the worlds stand point of "yes women can do everything, they are the ones that should be inchage of families, businesses, countries, even now a days some churches." so therefore the transition from that life to this one was quite the stretch. But as I was talking to one of the women mentors here she explained that there is something beautiful that happens when men and women fit into the roles that God has designed for them. Now having been here 6 weeks, I happen to agree. I couldn't imagine anything more perfect.

Application:
Encourage one women who is in authority over me today.

August 17th,2017
Ephesians 6:1
"Children obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do."
Colossians 3:20
"Children always obey your parents, for this pleases the Lord."

The common theme in both these verses is obey your parents. Luckily for me I have always had a really good relationship both my parents and they both love God and are always there to encourage me to press on in my relationship with God. So obeying them wasn't really ever an issue for me. They way I see it is that you were given your parents to help guild you along, they are like a mother bird teaching their baby how to fly on it's own. When it is first born the mother regurgitates food for the baby, in that same way parents try to pass on the knowledge and the fruit that they have eaten and are producing. The role of a parent is one that is terrifying to me. You have to raise your kid and teach not only things like walking, how to brush their teeth, their first language but you also must teach them about the bible and how to pray etc.  But even with all that teaching there is still the chance that your kid will rebel and not want any part of the gospel. Yet you tried your best to inform them all about Christ. God has given you parents to glorify him, He gives us a metaphor through our fathers so we know how he feels about us but a tenfold more. He also gives us a metaphor through our mothers, He is always wanting to pick us up after we fall and dust us off, to give us a comforting hug when we are crying and being a counselor to us when we just need to talk.

But, if your parents aren't walking with the Lord and they are instructing you against Him then you shall not listen to them. If they are sinning against God then you need to close your eyes to that sin. I can't imagine what it would be like to have parents that don't believe in the gospel or God. After meeting so many people that come from so many different corners of the earth and all different situations I have come to a point of realization that what ever I do I need to be a good parent for my child because there is so much hate for those whose parents were not there.

Application:
Write down 5 ways in which I want to be a good parent

August 16th, 2017
Romans 6:16
"Don't you realize that you become a slave to whatever you choose to obey? You can be a slave to sin, which leads to death, or you can choose to obey God, which leads to righteous living."

I find that I am often a slave to things and I don't even notice it. I was thinking about how often I have become intraped in things of this world. Most of the time not even realizing it. There is a type of power placed on those things that we value. We conform like addicts and do what ever it takes to get our next fix. Think about this, most teenagers today sleep with their phones in their room, I know that for me personally I set an alarm on it. But the thing is, at home, I don't just use it as an alarm. The alarm starts to ring, turning it off I proceed to look at what I missed out on since last looking at my social media the night before. It is a cycle that you easily can get caught in. We often think that it isn't a sin or that there is no harm that comes from it. But it is still an addiction, social media takes up so much of our day and our lives. It is hard because the world is constantly encouraging us to be on it and conect with those that we know twenty-four seven.  God is no longer my first priority in my day, and is not my first or even second thought. I want to my thoughts to surround God how they used to surround always looking at social media.


Application:
Make a list of things that I have been a slave to over the past month.

August 11th, 2017
Psalm 17:15
"Because I am righteous, I will see you. When I awake, I will see you face to face and be satisfied."

This verse infers that only those who are righteous will look on to God and actaully see him, so that probes a question for me, am I righteous? Righteousness is of morality, and being free from guilt because you are acting according to the word of God. I can imagine that with this righteousness comes the fleeting feeling of discontentness. So it would be hard to stay righteous because us as humans are always craving more. But we must stay righteous inorder to see God face to face, and isn't that the ultimate goal, to one day see God face to face? If you are looking upon his face he will be able to guide you that much better, you will know when it is him that is guiding you and you will be able to recognize him when things start to get dark.

 There would be a  type of clarity that would come with seeing God face to face, I think it is interesting that it says I will be satisfied, if you were seeing God face to face wouldn't you be past the point of satisfaction? I would think that it would draw out even just a little bit more than satisfaction. Another way of looking at the verse would be, I will see you face to face and be content, to be filled and then become full. When I wake up I will see you and then I will become filled for the day so that I may pour out that love of Jesus on others. When I wake, when I read this I don't think that it means literally when I wake up, I believe that it is a metaphor. When I wake, when you are awoken from the slumber of which is your sin or the life you were living as a luke warm Christian. Then finally, after all the chasing that you did under the sun you will come to a stop and you will be refreshed and satisfied.

Application:
Pray that today I would seek God's face not just his heart.

August 10th, 2017
Phillipians 4:11
"Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have."

Here Paul reccognizes that fact that he has all he needs, this is because he is already spiritually filled. There is no need for earthly posessions I think that we often forget that. After all, they are not even our own belongings.
We should be content with what we have in a materialistic sense, there shouldn't be a yearning for more in that sense. We should one the other hand be content in where God has placed us for that season for our life. But, with that being said we should always be yearning to be filled with the spirit. If we are truely living out the way that God has called us to live we will be constantly pouring out and needing that fufillment that comes with Him. We should not be content with being lukewarm, that is not the type of contentment God has called us to. There is undoubtedly a contentment that comes with God that is unexplainable. There are people that literally have zero dollars to their names yet they have the ability to be more content then some one who has thousands. But it is also really important to remember that there is a difference between happiness and that of contentment.

I find it ironic that we are talking about contentment in a time of finding out another step in our life. Some may not be content in this moment with where God has called them for their field time. They have it in their heads that they are happy about it but there is this lack of genuine contentment. They may be happy but there is still this boulder in the way that is keeping them from being completely and fully submissive, content in God's plan. I know that I have already been challenged in my contentness with God's plan for me since being here and I know that he will only continue to shape me more and more each day. I am going to need to become even more content with doing things that I don't want to do.

Application:
Today I will focus on verses about contentment during my devo.

August 9, 2017
Hebrews 13:5
"Don't love money; be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, 'I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.' "

This week has been rough for me in the area of contentment. I wish to be at home this summer, getting to see my friends, not having to put the effort in to make new ones that don't seem like their ever going to be as close to me yet. I wish I could do whatever I wanted and not follow the plans layed out for me that make me exhausted. I wish that I could be playing volleyball in the sun with my brother and sisters like I used to. But those days are gone, and I need to move on. God doesn't call us to be comfortable. Oh but that comfort seem so entiscing. It draws me in like a fish on a line, I try to fight and sometimes I get free but other times I can feel it start to draw me in.

God says that he will never fail us or abandoned us. Some times I feel abandoned by God. I feel like I am going into an opaque rushing river. There is a fear that surfaces as I submerge myself into the murky brown water but I am disgusted. I feel like I am going in alone. I know that in my heart that God is always with me, and that he doesn't abandon me, like the verse says but some how I can't help but feel like a stranded like bobbing bouy trying to stay afloat. I feel myself drifting, going with the flow of routine. I try to pathetically fight the current forgetting that I am anchored below the surface. Then I realize that God is there as my anchor. He is anchoring me, even though I feel as if my head is barely above the water sometimes and that he isn't visibly there, he is. My anchor just below the surface.

Application:
Write a list of ten ways that God was evident today, inorder to remind me that I can't always see him but he is there.

August 8th, 2017
Luke 3:14
" 'What should we do?' asked some soldiers. John replied, 'Don't extort money or make false accusations. And be content with your pay.' "

There are multiple important points to this verse the first is that this is a crazy act in it's self, Roman soldiers were asking a Jew, "what should we do?". When I was analysing this it was important for me to remember that these people hated eachother. But sure maybe on the off chance that they did got along I can imagine that they would only be getting along because they would be making those around them agree by force or because they had been given bribes. These people would not have been seen as moral men, infact they were probably hated by the Jews.
So why is it then that they were asking what they should do? They didn't even believe in the same God as the Jews. This just goes to show us how radical the movement of Jesus' coming was, John was preaching that the Messiah was coming and all those who heard the good news wanted to be apart of it, even if it went against everything that the government said.

Are people like this today? Being from Canada I get to see a lot of comfortable living, as it is considered one of the richest countries in the world. I have started to come to the realization that although Canada is an amazing and beautiful country there is too much comfort. We as citizens aren't asking "what should we do?" we are asking only of issues that concern our; corporate gain, revenue, marital status etc.  An example of this is on the east side of Vancouver, there is a sector that is full of homeless people and it is very well known for this fact too. Sure there are a couple of ministries that take this amazing oppertunity to minister to these people but the majority of citizens living in and around Vancouver completely avoid this section of the city, they won't even drive in this area of the city. These people are seen as the modern day lepers. Churches are ignoring the call to invite these people into the body of Christ and extend a helping hand. God states quite clearly that we are to help the poor, would they not classify as the poor? So why then is nothing being done? It is because of comfort. They say that money is the root of all evil but comfort is a by product of that, it keeps us ensnared there for the rest of our lives.

What is the difference between contentment and comfort? I believe that contentment is the joy of serving the Lord and in that you can find comfort but you will not be found comfortable because Jesus is consistantly telling you to move.

Application: This week I will wake up at a different time every morning so that I don't get stuck being comfortable in a routine for my devos.

August 7th, 2017
 1 Timothy 6:6-10
"Yet true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth. After all, we brought nothing with us when we came into the world, and we can't take anything with us when we leave it. So if we have enough food and clothing, let us be content. But people who long to be rich fall into temptation and are trapped by many foolish and harmful desires that plunge them into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. And some people, craving money, have wandeed from true faith and pierced themselveswith many sorrows."

How hard is it for you to be content? In our world, even in the Christian circles, having more is one of the top priorities. Contentment with what you have is practically unheard of in western society, and my question is why is that? Why is it that even those who are following God's word are falling into this trap? Churches dream for bigger buildings or nicer facilities, church go-ers dream to have enough money that they won't have to worry about a retirement plan. There is so much lack of contentment. Would it not be better to be lacking in worldly things as to gain a better relationship with God fully leaning on him trying to gain support?

In this verse it says that money is the root of all evil, to which I agree whole heartedly. With money your dreams and desires can start to become reality. From those desires you long for more each day and your arrogance grows along with your title. But like with every earthly thing the money, fame and materialistic things will fade, and you will be left with nothing that will satisify you.

These verses really hit me and got me thinking about how often I place materialistic things above anything else. I realized how selfish and blinded I was by the fact that I needed money. I knew that I needed money for this program and then I was told I should try and have extra money for when I got back inorder to go to school. Even though my intentions were mostly pure it still consumed me, I was roughly working thirty hours a week while in highschool for a good six months during my senior year. All I would think about on my down times was budgeting; "how many hours would I need to work inorder to make this happen?", "how much could I spend on coffee inorder to still be on track?", and "if God provides for me with this certain amount of money, then how much will I have?". I was putting God in a box again. I didn't want to have to depend on him for things that I thought were in my control. But I had forgotten, was it not him who got me the job in the first place? Was it not him who placed me at the heart of my church family that also happens to be very giving? I was so consumed that I forgot to be content with what God had already given me, and place my hope in him for what was to come.

Applications: Tonight I will make a list of all the things God has blessed me with since being here.

August 4th, 2017
Hebrews 6:12
"Then you will not become spiritually dull and indifferent. Instead you will follow the example of those who are going to inherite God's promises because of their faith and endurance."

Sometimes I feel like we numb ourselves to God. We only get a tingle of a feeling when God does something amazing and the rest of the time He is void and our excitment for Him is static.  We become indifferent to Him and everything He is doing in our lives. We trick ourselves into thinking that God has placed us in a dry season when really, we did that ourselves. Becoming deaf to his voice we chase everything that passes by us. But God calls us to be at a higher place, He says that we need to press on, in verse ten of that chapter it says that God is not unjust, that He will remember how hard you worked. This is encouraging to me because I feel like I don't want to press on anymore. Quite honestly at this point I wish I could just be going to the beach with my friends and laying in the pool just floating around. It is so tempting to look back at my old life and wish that I could still have that right now. But God didn't call me to be comfortable, He called me to the end's of the earth to share His love to those around the world.

Press on he is whispering gently in my ear each morning when I don't feel like getting up to do my morning devos. So I get up, it is hard, but I get up. I think to myself, if I don't go willing to God then He will just chose some one else to go in my place. But, I want to be that person, I want to inherite his glory. So, here I'll stand, continuing to press on. Even if I end up with the slowest time in the race it's okay, it is better than never because atleast I tried my best and made my Father proud.

Application: Go the extra mile. Everywhere you look today try to intensionally seek out oppertunities serve.

August 3rd, 2017
Revelations 1:9
"I, John, am your brother and partner in suffering, and in God's Kingdom, and in the patient to which Jesus calls us. I was exiled to the island of Patmos for preaching the word of God, and for my testimony about Jesus."

I think that it is curious that he says that he is our partner in suffering even though he died on the island. But yet even still because the bible is an ageless book it still comforts us that he was going through what we go through, if not worse. This verse is talking about how we need to cling to God through the turbulation and not allow our grip to losen in the suffering. For if we are not patient and we are not preaching the word of God we will not make a difference in God's kingdom. We need to allow him to use us so that we may recieve the calling in which he has placed on us. I find that it is often hard to be an empty vessel for God, haven giving up everything we want to hold on to inorder to be used. I often find myself wanting to give up, so that I don't have to keep getting up early in the morning and start running the same race that I started when I was three. It is so hard, some times I get bursts of engery but even still I am exhausted. But even through my exhaustion I smile, I have the joy of the Lord and the patience to know that even though I have leg cramps, exhaustion and an unquenchable thirst that I would be worthy of being exiled like John. To me that is encouraging. It has always been my hope that I would be worthy of dying a martyrs death. To shake and uproot everything going on around me. That I would cause an upset because God was using me to the greatest capacity offered.

Application: Take a half an hour to be in God's presence tonight before bed so that I may be refilled and press on.

August 2nd, 2017
Colossions 1:11
We also pray that you will be strengthed with all his glorious power so you will have all the endurance and patience you need. May you be filled with joy.

This verse reminds me alot of running. When you run the goal is often to build endurance, not just to lose weight. But in order to build endurance though you need to add an element to your work out, eg. another lap, push for a faster time, press on harder. You can not just build endurance by having the same workout that never pushes you farther. But then it says, "may you be filled with joy" for me personally I get an abundant amount of joy when I run. You get to soar, zip, or become bent over in half while along your route. There is just something crazy about seeing how far you can push your body. That same way God wants to push us, He wants to add more and more pressure to our lives allowing us to bend to his will.

Another thing that I noticed in this passage is that is says you will have all the endurance and patience that you will need, not what you want but what you need. We, as people from western society, tend to over buy, over eat, and over produce. We are always wanting more. Never sastisfied but always indulging for more. But this verse specifically says what you need. We often don't give credit to God for all that he is doing. We think that he isn't doing enough in our lives because it isn't as tangeable as the world going on around us. We become spoiled expecting things and when they aren't given to us in our own time we freak out. But He says He will fill us with joy and give us all we need.

Application:
I am going to write in my journal five ways and times that God has strengthened me.

August 1st, 2017
Luke 21:19
"By standing firm, you will win your soul."
"by your patience possess your souls." NKJV
"in your patience possess ye your souls." KJV

By Standing firm... standing firm. How often am I guilty of flaking out when tough times come? I find that inorder for me to commit to something I have to be one hundred and ten percent in it, so that I won't back out. You see I don't like to fail, or lose, I am quite competitive in that way which can often keep me from doing things that I am not sure I will win at.

Luckily with God's promises you know that you will come out victorious, but the intense training to get there sometimes will scare off those who are not confident in the fact that they have the best personal trainer around. Then there are others that try to do it themselves, they think "I read a book on this once so I know what I am doing." Except reading a book on it doesn't qualify you for the olympics. There needs to be coaches in your life, a whole team of them spuring you on and instructing you how to be better and better each day.

Then once you have established a team and are continiously standing firm in your training and keeping yourself healthy, then you will achieve the greatness you desire. You will win your soul, like a prize. We should be treating our souls like prizes. Don't wager them on the line for nothing of much value or for something that isn't substancial.  You need to be confident in where you are placing your hope, because if it is not somewhere solid then you will fall for everything. Especially for things of this world that seem shiny and sturdy on the outside but they are rotten on the in. You will find yourself caving in like a rotting log on the forest floor. Like that log you will be left lying face down decaying faster than you can imagine.


Application:
Today I am practicing placing my strength in God, so me and Maya are going to be fasting. We will hold eachother accountable to go off and pray during each meal.

Luke 8: 11-15
"This is the meaning of the parable: the seed is God's word. The seeds that fell on the footpath represent those who hear the message, only to have the devil come and take it away from their hearts and prevent them from believing and being saved. The seeds on the rocky soil represent those who hear the message and recieve it with joy. But since they don't have deep roots, they believe for a while, then they fall away when they face temptation.  The seeds that fell among the thorns represent those who hear the message, but all too quickly the message is crowded out by the cares and riches and pleasure of this life. And so they never grow into maturity. And the seeds that fell on the good soil represent honest good-hearted people who hear God's word and cling to it, and patiently produce a huge harvest."

This parable made me think of all the times that my life has been each of these seeds. So fragile. It is easily swept up with the wind and taken where it did not want to go. Crows trying to pick at them carry them off to devour them. But there is nothing that we can do except land on soil. Yet even still some times when we do land on the soil but that crow will still try to pluck us from where we belong. But if we are rooted already and starting to grow it will be too much for the crow and it will die because it is lacking in food.

If we think about that for just a second it is radical. If everyone on this planet started to plant themselves in the good soil, reading and absorbing God's word, then there would be no place for Satan. He would grow hungry because we would not give in and he would be destroyed. Not only that but this place would be filled with fruit, orchards everywhere you'd look.

I know that for me personally, I have been guilty of all of three of these. In fact it even happens when I think that I am in good soil  I will hear a sermon and feel convicted but as soon as the service is over I start to think "what is for lunch today, I am starved." The message that had convinced me that I was going to change my life completely gone from my mind. Yet I was still in the good soil and growing more and more each day. Is that even possible? Is is possible to be in good soil yet not be applying everything you are learning? I view it this way, when you are placed in good soil you start to grow roots that anchor you down and then you grow verticaly. If you are not absorbing the nutrients you will grow hunry and shrival up. If you absorb the nutrients you will prosper. Yet some times you only absorb some and that puts your growth rate at a slower pace and there will be less fruit. But we should want there to be as much fruit as possible so that others can pluck some from our tree but we will still be able to produce more to replace the fruit that has been taken.

Application: Apply to my life what was convicting during Ali's devo last night, don't just let it be a fleeting thought.

Mark 10: 47-49
"When Bartimaeus heard that Jesus of Nazarith was nearby, he began to shout, 'Jesus, son of David have mercy on me!' 'Be quiet!' many of the  people yelled at him. But he only shouted louder 'Son of David, have mercy on me!' When Jesus heard this, he stopped and said 'Tell him to come here.' So they called the blind man, 'cheer up' they said. 'Come on he's calling you' Bartimus jumped up, threw aside his coat and followed him."


In these verses it reminds me that I have been and sometimes am guilty of crying out to God only when I feel his presence or when I think that He is near. I personally know that in my life when I feel that God is no where to be found I, in no way, want to talk to him. I try to put off my problems say, when this Sunday comes, then I'll deal with it. Or at this youth confrence, God is going to be so evident, He'll be there and then He will hear me. I get caught up in only wanting to talk to Him or confess my sins when I am on a spiritual high. Since being here already I am dealing with things that I never have dealt with before, or belittled. It is crazy how much God can pull out of you even when you think that he is done digging and at the most random times. Yesterday when we were doing the cardboard testimonies another part of me and my past was dug out. I was a random time where I was all of a sudden emotionally charged and crying out to Jesus. I wasn't in some spiritual high, or at some crazy confrence. I was just doing a simple task in my day. God was showing me that I needed to give up things to him at all points of the day. Not just when I felt it weighing on me.

Another two things that I pulled out were that; one he was blind, and two that he was a beggar. The first of those two points made me think, 'What am I blind to?' Am I blind to God and what he wants daily for me? Do I truly pray to God that He will give me eyes to see the broken and everything else that he sees?  Something I do know is that I want to be blind to the world. I do not want my eyes to be turned anymore by everything going on around me. I want to tune out the static and tune into God.

The second point was that he was a beggar. He was a beggar and and everyone knew it. I think that we need to have more of a beggars mentallity. We need to start by lowering ourselves, getting on our knees and start begging for Christ instead of having the mentality that he owes us we need to remember that He could just pass us on the street but he chooses to come alongside us and pick us up.

Application:
Today I will pray that God will dig out something in my life then talk to one of the girls from the missions team about what God has been doing in my life